Laugh With ME.

Friday, October 07, 2005

hmm..bad day bad day....woke up feeling extremely hungry...suddenly feel like eating this eating tt...but thot of the food in front of mi i no appetite...haiz...and mama dun let mi eat this eat that...worse...not at all any appettite...nth do today...cannot go out cannot this cannot that...so sianzz...and my head is spinning...and breathing difficulty...haiz...this is bad...like not enuf oxygen like tt...slp i cun slp...and one of my hand is useless for the entire week thanks to the plug set yst...if i use tt hand..it will injured my vein..and will become swollen and red...and of cos pain...hmmm

omg omg omg...after almost a month never see needles and smell the hospital...wed went back and omg...i suddenly gt no more guts to go there anymore..i m scared...i see needles and i fear...last time used to it cos every week poke...now suddenly like to much needle poking...haiz...yst when the nurse set the plug i was so tensed up...haiz...it was still over...the worse is coming soon...i haf another 2 sessions of chemical drinking...i noe my hand and veins well..limit is there...2 more poking and tts it..it cannot poke le...my veins r getting smaller and smaller after every session...haiz...hoping tt after the 2 sessions the doctor will proceed to the transplant....i dun wan another 2 course...6 is enuf...by 6 courses it will be a total of 12 chemacal drinking session....haiz....i dun another 4 drinking session...i will break down soon...nobody understans how i feel deep inside...all can say they understand...are they sure...??do they noe the pain and all i m going thru...bone marrow abstract...do they noe the pain...??going for ct scan with hot chemicals going into ur body...it hurts...imagine urself in a air=contioned room..wherby u r shivering...suddenly smth very hot goes into ur veins...do u all noe the pain...hmmm....once i proceed to the transplant..i will need a headman line..poking a largest plug tt is juz somehow little smaller than a straw into ur lagest vein tt is somewhere under ur collar bone or where ever it is..and for permanent untill everthing is over...hmmm...

i'll pull thru all...i know i can take it....soon..time passes quickly..pain wun last forever....i m optimistic..i m cheerful...i will laugh all i can..if i can....i wun cry cos i m brave...i never cried at all the moment i stepped into tt place...i beared all the pain with a smile...not letting my mama and sister be worried...my dad never bothered...i live in my world of emptiness...i live in a world of pain...but i smiled my way out and by next may..i will be okie...i noe i will....nydc's chocolate cake will mine soon..next christmas...dec 25 2006....hmmm...(",)

*a word from u will make a difference in my life*

2:45 pm

Guten Tag! My name ist Ming Xian.

Ich first cried on 5th April 1988.
[Always 18!!!]

My Trademark ist "LIVE TO EAT!!!"

Ich LOVE to TRAVEL..SPORTS & my beloved cello. Roses are not special to me.Therefore i have the special love for SUNFLOWER,TULIPS & LAVENDAR.

Ich have cravings for food,shopping outing almost ALWAYS..however green peas are not my cup of tea FOR SURE!!! Ich have a dream to become a POWER ENGINEER.