Saturday, December 24, 2005
hmm...hello everyone!!!i m back from tt bloody place...hmm...everything went on smoothly....hmmm..soon i will be going back again...hmmm...the nxt admit will be the most important of all..and is the very very day i've been waiting for...hmmm...bcos i will going thru the transplant...the 6 days chemo and den bla bla..heard from ppl who went thru about wat will happen....this chemo is one tt kils eerything in ur body..meaning it kills clean and clear all ur cells...so i will be isolated and nobody is allowed to visit mi...even my family members oso cannot visit mi...hmmm...and heard u will be like a real dead person...hmmm...but after everything...i will be well..so i will surely make it..yeah!...hmm...this time for the stem sells collection..smth made mi real shocked and scared for tat moment...after my 1st day of collection....i was down...i was in a single room..cos i will get infection easily..so i was watching tv wif mama...den all of a suddenly...the whole room spinned...and its really spinning to the extend that u cannot even lie straight...even wif ur eyes closed u can feel urself spinning..and to the extend tt i vomitted and vomitted...and hearing lots of noises tt nobody could hear...it was so noisy and at that instant...omg...u will feel tt u might juz fall and nv wake..tts how it felt as i spinned...and at that moment...i broke down...cos i ren so long u see...den suddenly the feeling tt u r dying....i mean ya choy to all rite..but tts how i felt as i spin...its really so hard describe..there's no position tt is comfortable..i felt myself spinning at every point...and suddenly like out of breathe tt kind of spin..tts y it simply seems if i faint i will nv wake..tts how scary..hmm...maybe it seems okie to ppl but it was really scaring mi at tt moment..really felt as if i wun pass tt day..and heard during transplant...everyday will be how i felt tt day..like will die anytime de feeling..its how u pull thru..and overcome urself.so i m sure i can...hmm...2 wks of omg will pass fast..hmm..tts rite!..lolz...hmmm...hmmm...some things r realy unpredictable...esp..tt certain things...tt i nv thot would be so nice..hmmm...but nice things owaz ends fast..so i treasured tt every moment....even though i noe its juz bcos i m sick tts y i get to be treated so nicely..but nvm lahz..i m contented...its really not everyone is so lucky to get such a chance to be treated so well by the someone...hmm..today would be the last day of all the nice things...today is the day tt makes the end...hmmm...even if he treats mi well bcos he piy mi...its also treating mi well..so nvm it..hmm...ren kai xin jiu hao le...rite?...i laugh and smile evryday..so i will oso make sure i smile my day during my transplant..and make sure i recover fast so i can go out for dinner and all wif my frens again..hmmm...today is christmas eve..and it will definately be a memorable day for mi...hmmm....and i noe it will be the best meomory tt shld be kept forever..hmmm... (=
9:14 am
