Saturday, December 31, 2005
hmm..well...decided to blog again..cos suddenly so many things *zoom* into my mind...so decided to type them all out!!hmm...well maybe i m juz plain stupid or naive...maybe i shld listen to wat amanda said...since so xin ku..y not juz ahhh..shout out all i want say and tts it!hmmm...i m not sure about it..i feel i shld not and i shld nv nv say it out...so....leave it be for now...things r juz complicated..things r juz simply not going well...hmm..i m stuck...so much things to be troubled at...but nvm..i m still able to cope it..so i shall continue to ren and take it..smile and laugh my day...and there goes one day..hmm...however...2006 coming le..shld i change for better....shld i simply be a even more happy and cheerful gal...or is things okie for now...hmm...maybe new resolutions??hmm...i dunno too...haiz...maybe i m juz thnking too much making things even more complicated when its already very complicating...hmm...maybe i shld start my gif up plans on the start of 2006...hmm...let go and await my new life...hmmm..or shld i start only when i haf my transplant...which means a extreme new start of my life...hmm...i m being very indecisive...hmm...i thnk its simply very hard for mi to let go this time rnd..seems every word tt comes out from him makes an impact in me...hmmm...i m weak..i m useless...i m stupid...well...i thnk its really really very very wrng for mi to haf fallen for u..its a wrng thing right from the start...i m sure its wrng...and now everything between us is complicating...juz bcos u continued getting close to mi when u already know i like you...r u mad or r u doing it on purpose...its torturing mi..every little thing u do makes mi upset...and sometimes u r simply so sweet to mi tt made mi fall for u even more tt i dunno how to gif up now...hmmm..haiz..but suan le....oh well...2006 coming so let go and ooohooo!!!new start...hmm...so i hope new start new hopes...new lifestyle...hmm...(=..okie okiez..i m going get a new wishlist of things i want now...hahaz...hmm...to all my frens....thank you for everything u did for mi this yrs...and love you all lotz...(=smilez and all the best to all of ya...hmm..best of luck in the yr of 2006...hmmm....hope a new start is really good for mi..hope i can get over him soon...and real soon...or i will really be torturing myself and wif him torturing mi..i haf double torturing to myself...is it worth...i dunno eh..i simply fell too deep i guess...hmm...tts all...SMILEZ!!!! (=
11:00 pm
